Chris Illuminati
Elizabeth Olsen – Morning Eyegasm [PICTURES]
Elizabeth Olsen is an actress and the younger sister of Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen. The 22-year-old did theater as a kid and appeared in many of her sisters’ productions. She won critical acclaim for her role in the independent film ‘Martha Marcy May Marlene.’
Lilth — SuicideGirl of the Day [PICTURES]
Introducing Lilth, a SuicideGirl who is studying Education Psychology, loves sushi and sometimes can’t stop eating chocolate.
Halloween Walk Of Shame [VIDEO]
Halloween parties are a great opportunity for random hook-ups. Especially because every girl is wearing a sexy costume. We don’t know that for fact, since we haven’t been invited to a Halloween party in years. We based that info on the comments people with lives make on their Facebook pages.
Friskey — SuicideGirl of the Day [PICTURES]
Meet Friskey, a SuicideGirl who plays the ukulele and finds electrocution and clown suits very kinky. Finally, a woman that will appreciate our side job as rodeo clowns with taser guns!
Man Claims Prostitute Turned Into Donkey
There is buzzed. There is drunk. There is blackout drunk. Now there is “so drunk a prostitute turns into a donkey” drunk.
Paola Corvea — Crush of the Day [PICTURES]
Paola Corvea is a model and sex advisor for Maxim Espanol. She has appeared in numerous magazines and on Mexican television. She is our crush today for actually having the patience to talk to men about sex.
Introducing the Sandwich That Will Probably Kill You [PICTURE]
It’s not the McRib. It’s worse. It’s the creamy bacon donut. Thankfully, it’s a homemade concoction and not available in any restaurants. Yet.
Man Wakes Up to Pants on Fire
Usually it’s lying that set a pair of pants on fire. This time it was just a little cat nap.
JinJur — SuicideGirl of the Day [PICTURES]
Meet JinJur, a SuicideGirl who has a thing for Han Solo, lost her virginity to a pro athlete and loves online flirting. Han Solo huh? Looks like she won’t let just any guy take a peek at her ‘wookie.’
Rachelle Leah — Crush of the Day [PICTURES]
Rachelle Leah began her modeling career for the Ford Motor Company and made appearances on shows such as ‘The View,’ ‘Carson Daly,’ and the ‘Nick And Jessica Variety Show.’ At the age of 19, her photo was seen on a boxing website by officials at the UFC and she was hired to work as an Octagon Girl.
Tarion — SuicideGirl of the Day [PICTURES]
Meet Tarion, a SuicideGirl who loves to be in control, has a sexual fantasy about a nun and some M&M’s and considers “world domination” a hobby. You keep thinking about the “nun and M&M’s” comment don’t you? So do we.
Guy Rides Giant Spider [VIDEO]
You thought your Halloween costume was pretty sweet then this guy walks in rides into the party. There goes the first place prize of a bottle of Schnapps and bragging rights until next year.