If you are going to make a Baywatch movie — even one that’s a tongue-in-cheek satire of the original — there’s a few things you’ve got to have. You need men and women in red bathing suits. You need people running on the beach in slow motion. You need that magnificent theme song. You need at least one reference to Baywatch Nights. And you need David Hasslehoff and Pamela Anderson.
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