I was in the men's room recently of one of Yakima's finer sports bars, one whose owners are obviously invested in making sure their patrons avoid STDs -- which is a noble pursuit. It is in this effort that condom manufacturers have come up with clever names for their prophylactics to beat out (for lack of a better choice of words) the competition.

"Shelf Space" is valuable in the head and if you're going to compete for my 50 cents you'd better fool me into thinking the experience is going to be more than it is. But have they gone too far? If you're about to get busy do you want your lady seeing the packaging of the "Rough Rider"? Does that come with spray on traction for his satisfaction? She'll probably prefer "Warmed Encounters"... I know I would, and not from a pie. The one that perplexes me is the "Fantasy 6 Reloaded". What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is that like one of those old "Ready Sharp" pencils when one lead gets dull you just replace it with another?

If only ...