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Man Accused of Having Sex With Horse — But Not How You’re Thinking

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A 20-year-old man in Pennsylvania was arrested on burglary charges after he allegedly broke into a barn after in the early hours of the morning. What was he doing there? Having sex with a horse, of course.

Be honest, who among us hasn’t made sweet, sweet love to a literal stud. Horseshoes aren’t just for luck, they are for…eh, we better stop now. Anyway, so why is this such big news? The man was having oral sex with a female horse.

According to State Police in Perry County, Jeremy Johnson of Newport broke into the barn on Cold Storage Road in Centre Township at 1 a.m. and police were called shortly after. That’s when police caught him, you know, going to town. So far, the 20-year-old is only being charged with burglary.

The kid isn’t saying if oral treats were the only reason for the break-in and we doubt they’ll get much out of the horse. She probably won’t talk, considering they just arrested the love of her life. They can try to get a confession out of her, but it would be like beating a dead horse. See what we did there?

We have to ask — is oral sex with a mare consider foreplay or horseplay?

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