My Favorite Other Jesuses
As the Easter weekend approaches, many Americans – Christian and non-Christian alike – will celebrate the holiday that notes the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth. Even the most passive church-goers make sure to attend service or mass on The Big Two holidays on the Christian calendar, Christmas and Easter.
For those of the Christian faith, there is but one Messiah. However, there are 242,918 people in the U.S. with the first name Jesus. Statistically the 276th most popular first name.
Besides the Christ, here are some of my favorite other Jesuses:
1. Jesus Alou
As a baseball fan, I would be remiss if I did not include Jesus Alou of the famed trio of Alou brothers who once played in the same outfield together during a big league game.
There was a fourth brother who did not reach the majors and it’s probably just as well since his name was “Boog.”
2. Jesus Christ Allin – aka Kevin Michael “GG” Allin
A punk rocker to the core, GG Allin, whose legitimate given name was indeed “Jesus Christ Allin”, died the way he lived.
At his funeral, Allin’s bloated, discolored corpse was dressed in his black leather jacket and trademark jock strap. He had a bottle of Jim Beam beside him in his casket, per his wishes. As part of his brother’s request, the mortician was instructed not to wash the corpse (which smelled strongly of feces), or apply any makeup.
3. Jesus Quintana
John Turturro starred as the ball-cleaning, psychotic bowler in the cult classic movie “The Big Lebowski.” If you have seen the film, you have undoubtedly uttered the phrase, “Do not f@*k with the Jesus!”