After entering into "Semi-Retirement" back on March 5, I accomplished many things on my retirement-to-do list.

I beat Lego Batman 2 on X-Box. I bought a ventriloquist dummy at a yard sale for $5 and I organized my porn collection.

After achieving so many great things, retirement got boring. I don't fish, I don't golf without a Wii, I don't really drink, so I figured I'd come back to work. Especially since David Letterman announced his retirement and took my thunder!

Thank you for welcoming me back into your lives through your radio, and allowing me to work on not being so pale by being in the sunlight! I've been on KATS for 15 years ... and that number is still counting! Now let's get to work, in the Work Release Program! 10 a.m.-2 p.m. weekdays on KATS!