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This Punk Rock Starter Kit Makes Us Cry Inside


To troll or not to troll — the answer must have come easily to Etsy user HeineBorel when he or she decided to put this little package together. At least we’re hoping this person is trolling, because the thought of the seller truly believing this is a good idea makes us sadder than Morrissey.

The list of items included in the kit:

-Bootstrap studded with small (your’re just starting out) 77 cone studs
-Bondage belt
-Studded bracelet with bondage wring
-Studded wristband
-Totalitar and Varukers patches

-Mystery goody!

We can’t help but wonder what the “mystery goody” might be. Some items we’re hoping for are a packet of cleaning wipes to wipe up our vomit after opening the box, a little can of lighter fluid and some matches so we can test the kit’s flammability and a Descendents CD, just because they kick ass.

Typically, big, clueless corporate stores like the ones you see at the mall wait for youth culture to decide what’s cool, then they copy it and sell it to the mall crowd. What’s so scary about this is that it hearkens the trend of small, independent sellers — people who’d normally be creating trends — copying those mall stores’ strategy. Except they’re copying it about 30 years too late.

Well, we’re bummed now. But we’ve got some real punks to cheer us up in the video below.

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Next: That's Not Actually Very Punk Rock

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