Spoiler Alert! The Human Centipede 2 Is The Most Effed Movie I’ve Ever Seen [REVIEW]
The Human Centipede was one of the most talked about movies of 2011. Whether people liked it or was confused by it, it got people talking about how crazy the movie was. The premise of the original, simply enough, was a crazy doctor wanted to connect three people together, thus, creating a ‘human centipede.’ The sequel, The Human Centipede 2, takes it 100 steps further (no pun intended).
The idea behind The Human Centipede 2 is the story about a doofy, bug-eyed looking loser who loves the movie ‘The Human Centipede’. As in, in this movie, the original movie is a movie (which it is) and The Human Centipede 2 is real life (which, I hope to god, it isn’t). He has a lonely job as a security officer in a public garage/parking lot so he basically spends his work day watching The Human Centipede over and over again – much like how I would spend my work day. His obsession overtakes him as he decides to create his own Human Centipede.
if you don’t want to be spoiled in graphic detail, quit reading
The Human Centipede facebook page has the movie available to watch if you want to see for yourself
Near the beginning of the movie, you find out why the main dude is so messed up. He was physically and sexually abused by his dad. His mom, who he lives with, isn’t very nice to him either. He sees a psychiatrist who doesn’t seem to be helping. The psychiatrist mentions that people who are abused may mutilate their own gentiles. He proves this to be true during a sandpaper masturbation scene later in the film. You actually kind of feel sorry for him for a little bit. That sorrow ends pretty quickly when you see him clonk people in the head with a tire iron. Not enough to kill them (except a few times) but enough to knock them out. Once knocked out he would put them in the back of his car and take them to a large room he had to do his “surgery.” You’ll read why, later, why I put the word “surgery” in quotes.
His goal is to make a 12 person centipede. He has a few different kinds of people to make this happen including a pregnant lady, a bully who lived upstairs from him, a couple of trashy club ladies, a husband and wife (where he takes the adults but leaves their toddler in the car) and a few others. One of them (to be the head of the centipede) is the actress who played in the first movie. To create this centipede, he doesn’t have any medical experience so he draws his own diagrams based on the diagrams from the original movie.
Never mind the whole earlier part of the movie, here is where it gets *really* messed up. You see, in the first movie the guy was a licensed doctor so everything was nice and clean and sterile. In this, he performs the “surgery” with common household tools. Rusty knives, a hammer to break people’s teeth, a staple gun to staple them together and plenty and plenty of duct tape. Unfortunately, the pregnant lady dies from one too many blows to the head so she’s dragged to the ‘people who died’ corner of the giant room. Another individual dies along the way so he’s only left with 10 people. Eh, good enough.
He revels in his masterpiece once all are locked into each other. They crawl around a little bit, he dances and praises himself the way he would. He feeds them by forcefully shoving a funnel down their throats, all of their throats, with a long, long tube. He also goes as far as to inject a laxative into each of them to they all share with each other in a pretty grotesque way. To make matters more gross, the entire film is in black and white, but the only color they show are the splatters that happen during this scene.
Still not completely offended by what you’ve seen. Don’t worry, there’s more.
The Two Most Effed Up Things I’ve Ever Seen In Any Movie Are About To Happen Stop Reading If You Can’t Handle Anymore
seriously, these next two things are really messed up.
Well, you asked for it. Barbwire Rape Scene. Yep, now that he’s created a 10 person centipede, it’s starting to look pretty good to him so what does he do? He grabs some barbed wire, wraps it around his member and has his way with the tail end of his centipede. It’s a female end, not that it matters at this point. It’s around this time that the dead pregnant lady isn’t actually dead. She wakes up in horror, gets up and makes a run for the door to escape. She hops in an empty car trying to get the car to start. The lonely loser chases her but is locked out of the car. Scared, and in labor, she gives birth as the baby falls to the floor of the car. Never mind anything else that’s happened so far in this film, the worst part of the movie for me was once the car finally started, she pressed as hard as she could on the gas, which also crushed her new baby’s face as she peeled out.
From there, he goes back in the room to see the human centipede has separated into two 5 person centipedes and ones of them ripped himself off of the other. The dude decided to shoot each of them, one by one, in the head. When he ran out of bullets he used a knife to slit their throats. He did this to everyone but the actress who was in the first movie. He paused, they made eye contact, she punched him in the balls. She spun him around, pulled down his pants, shoved the funnel up his ass and inserted his pet centipede. He screams for a bit, ends up stabbing her through the back, killing her.
He gets away, back to his mundane job, the toddler still in the car. Looks like there’s going to be a third movie! I’m guessing they’ll attempt a 25 person human centipede so it literally has 100 arms and legs. We’ll see.
If you want to watch the uncut movie before it’s out on DVD, it’s available via The Human Centipede facebook page. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.