There's nothing like needing a thing of toilet paper and then you get to the store and find the shelves looking like they've been taken over by The Nothing or The Walking Dead.
There is an actual Twitter account called "S--t My Dad Says" that has been around since 2009. It has even spawned a TV series by the same name. I wish I had thought of it first because my dad has some gems of his own.
Instead, I'll use this space to show you s--t my dad saves.