Top 5 Tips For What Not To Do At The Black Panther Movie
DISCLAIMER: You should probably first read my really long rant to understand the context behind what brings you to the "The 5 Tips For What Not To Do At The Black Panther Movie" listed below.
You see, I have been looking forward to seeing the movie Black Panther since they first announced it three years ago!
In just a little over one week from today, this long-awaited movie will be released to theaters across the country on Friday, February 16, 2018.
Many people (who don't live in a small town named Yakima) have already bought their tickets online, creating a new box office record for the biggest movie pre-sale in the history of movie pre-sales!
Meanwhile, the rest of the country is rubbing it in my face on social media with their incessant posts about how they've already bought their tickets.
People out here posting up pictures of the African-inspired outfits they've purchased to wear to the movie showing.
I am literally over here seething with envy. *seethes*
There are even several groups, churches and schools who have already rented out theater rooms to host their own private showings of Black Panther. Not to mention someone paid for an entire middle school to go see the movie.
Like I mentioned earlier, I've been planning to see Black Panther on the release date like everybody else since last year, right? I had already taken Friday, February 16th, off from work (I told my boss and my co-workers that to me, this movie release date is like a national holiday).
I guestimated that when the movie opens at Yakima Theatres (the only movie theaters you can go to in Yakima), the first matinee show will begin in the 12pm hour. I PRINTED OUT all the possible movie show times in five minute increments beginning at noon, along with estimated corresponding end times so that I could see the movie while my daughter is in school and still have plenty of time to pick up by 3:15 p.m.
I hung said schedule on the wall in my radio studio. I planned out my Popeyes "pre-movie" lunch menu. I even window-shopped around online for some cute African-inspired royalty fashions to wear that day. I even planned my own "Black Panther On-The-Way-To-The-Movies" mixtape playlist (which consists of three songs from the Black Panther soundtrack, see below).
Yes, honey-baby-chile, I went all out. That's what you do for a holiday!
Well, HOW ABOUT earlier this week, my child's school principal announced that Friday, February 16th is the school district's "snow day make up day"! So now ALL of my plans have been shot to hell, and if I still want to make it to that matinee, I will have to hunt down a babysitter (which is EXTREMELY hard to do in the middle of a work day) plus I'll have to fork out some extra dough for that expense. It seems I can't freaking win for losing.
How do you say "I am PISSED TF OFF-- HOW ARE Y'ALL GOING TO RUIN THE ONE DAY I'VE BEEN NEEDING IN MY LIFE SINCE 2017!" in Wakandanese?
Rant over. Let me know what you think of the movie after you see it and click here to see if there are any extra scenes after the credits! (That website came in really handy when I wanted to see if there was anything extra after the Wonder Woman movie!)
Here are the Top 5 Tips For What Not To Do At The Black Panther Movie:
- Talk to me for any reason once the movie has begun (not even to say "Excuse Me" as you walk past to get to your seat).
- Look in my general direction once the movie has begun.
- Be stingy on the butter on my popcorn with extra butter.
- Bring any crying babies or any young kids OR GROWN-UPS who like to talk loudly during this movie.
- Declare Friday, February 16th, a "Snow Day Make Up Day" for the Yakima School District.
*Hallet Cinemas in Sunnyside is hosting a pre-release date showing of Black Panther and Black Panther 3-D on Thursday, February 15th. If you cannot wait until that Friday to see it in Yakima and you have the means to head over to Sunnyside (and a babysitter lined up, you lucky jerk), then you can see it before the rest of us do!
Reesha's Black Panther On-The-Way-To-The-Movies" 3-Song Mixtape Playlist