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UPS Worker Wins Smallest Penis Contest

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Talk about a small package.

Nick Gilronan, a 27 year-old UPS Store worker, was recently crowned the winner of Brooklyn, N.Y.’s “Smallest Penis Contest.”

Gilronan beat off stiff competition from five other competitors for the title, including a 55 year-old man who went by the name “Rip van Dinkle.”

For his efforts, Mr. Gilronan received $200 and was proclaimed the winner as someone sang Elton john’s “Tiny Dancer.”

“The size of a man’s penis does not matter for who he is as a person or in a relationship. Same thing with breast size. We’re all made in different shapes and sizes, but the media puts pressure on people to look a certain way. Most people do not look that way. Some people let that false sense of body image upset them and they shouldn’t be upset at all. Even worse, some people use those false standards and judge other people. It’s disconcerting.”

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