The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
10 Variations of Popular Candies You Probably Missed
People love candy: The average American spends $84 on and consumes about 23.9 pounds of the sweet stuff each year. With all that money and attention, you'd think it would be hard for a candy product to fail. Not true. Many candy products come and go without much notice. Here are 10 variations of popular candies that many people don't realize ever existed.
Looking For a New Massage Alternative? How About a Rub Down From 48NN Breasts?
Kristy Love spent a year learning to be a masseuse. She was unable to secure a gig, not because she wasn't good at her job, but because of her massive 48NN chest.
Interactive Map Shows Just What Type of Smut Your State Searches For the Most
You can learn a lot about a person based on 1) where they live and 2) their internet history. Today I learned the US is filled with fans of creampies and not the kind made by Hostess.
Comedian Kurt Braunholer Gives the Sh*ttiest Interview of All Time
Kurt Braunholer doesn’t give a crap about taking a crap. The popular comedian and host of the ‘The K Ohle’ with Kurt Braunohler podcast on the Nerdist network is very open when it comes to what goes on behind bathroom doors.
Roddy Piper Comments on Ric Flair’s Recent Arrest Warrant
'Rowdy' Roddy Piper, never a man to mince words or not speak his mind, was a recent guest on WODZ to promote an upcoming 2CW Wrestling show and Piper's Pit in Utica, NY.
If a Baseball Brawl Doesn’t End in Death Soon, I’m Going to Stop Watching [Half a Man]
Another brawl in baseball. Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Zack Greinke got plunked in a game last night against the Arizona Diamondbacks and the ensuing brawl is a great reminder to everyone on the East coast that baseball happens after 10PM our time and WHOKNEWAMMARIGHT...
Candy Company Offers Breast Milk Flavored Lollipops — Makes For Great Treat After Therapy
The award-winning gourmet lollipop company, Lollyphile, has never been afraid to experiment with off-the-wall flavors. Four years ago, the "adult candy company" started producing absinthe-flavored suckers just before the absinthe ban was lifted...
Sign the Petition to Make May 20th ‘National Macho Man Randy Savage Day’
"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!" - Macho Man Randy Savage Everyday, in the United States, we celebrate a national "something" day. There is a National Pancake Day because we're all fat. There is National Donut Day because...wait explained that. It's absurd. It's time for a holiday that celebrates one of our national treasures -- Randy 'Macho
McDonald’s Getting Rid of Popular Menu Items — Is Your Favorite Getting the Golden Axe?
McDonald's is shaking up its menu. Except, instead of adding a hundred new items as usual, the Golden Arches is giving the golden axe to some crowd favorites.
Wrestling Cut from 2020 Olympics
The International Olympic Committee voted to drop wrestling from its schedule for the 2020 Games via a secret ballot during a meeting in Switzerland. Instead of eliminating the pentathlon, like many expected, the IOC decided to scrap wrestling.
I’m Almost Certain Willy Wonka Was a Pedophile [HALF A MAN]
His bulbous thumb jammed the pause button and the miniature needle slowly scraped against the disc. He asked if we needed to hear it again. The idling boombox, eager to continue on it's predestined rotation, made a whizzing noise in an oddly quiet classroom of two dozen teens...
Baltimore Ravens Cheerleader Says She Wasn’t Included on Super Bowl Trip Because of Weight
Courtney Lenz, a five year veteran of the Baltimore Ravens cheerleading squad, is claiming the team left her off the trip to the Super Bowl because of her "slight weight gain." Oh deer! Sorry, I meant dear. Force of habit with this squad.