"Honey, does this survey make my ass look big?"

Well, ma'am, that's a really good question that the northeastern part of Oregon may want to ask itself after recent state rankings results were disclosed.

Sure, silly cliches are first to noggin-jump headlong into innuendo (baby got back, I like big butts and I cannot lie, more cushion for the pushin', twerkin'  the junk in the trunk -- feel free to share your own, of course) but all kidding aside, start tossing around obese and there's your buzzkill.

Good news and bad news: Umatilla County dropped from 15th to the 20th ranked of Oregon’s 36 counties (bad) in the annual County Health Rankings, but Morrow County rose from 19th to ninth (good). The report is quite thorough and ranks Oregon's counties in "health outcomes" such as premature death, low birth weight and poor physical/mental health days. Criteria such as obesity, smoking, binge drinking, physical activity, sexually transmitted diseases, teen births and other behaviors were all factored in to discover which counties are healthy and which are sagging and/or lagging behind.

However, both counties (Umatilla and Morrow) are getting fatter. Obesity in Umatilla County is fourth worst in the state (32nd) and Morrow County had to loosen the belt one hole as their fatness tipped the scales making them just slightly worse dropping from 20th to 21st.

Umatilla County's numbers did not change much -- it was an improvement in other Oregon counties that caused a further slide.

In Umatilla County, 35 percent of residents are obese, up from 33 percent in 2018 and 26 percent in 2012. A third of Morrow County residents are obese, up from 31 percent last year. The state averages 28 percent.