12 Signs You’re Playing Too Many Video Games
Video games might make for a nice diversion after a busy work day, but like anything, they can become an addiction. It’s a slightly more pathetic addiction than selling your body for Pogs, but it’s still an addiction nonetheless.
Here are some ways to tell that your gaming habits have gone a bit too far.
1. Your boss says he’s going to fire you for goofing off too much on the job and you get down on your knees, crying, begging and pleading for him to give you another “1up.”
2. The only protection you’ve ever used with your wife is Master Chief’s “power armor.”
3. Your optometrist says you have a tiny image of an 8-bit Mario burned on your retina.
4. You have a wife, spend an inordinate amount of time online and it’s not to look at pornography.
5. You have a flashback to the time you were surrounded in a jungle by armed thugs trained to kill you and you’re 10.
6. The closest you’ve come to physical activity in the last year was winning the NBA Finals with the 1990 throwback Chicago Bulls on ‘NBA 2K12.’
7. You once tried to put your wife’s menopause “on pause.”
8. You’re the only fifth grader in school with arthritis.
9. You asked your doctor if he could prescribe you “performance enhancing drugs” like the stuff Pac-Man takes to eat ghosts.
10. The fingerprints on your thumbs have been scraped clean off.
11. Luigi has a restraining order against you and he’s not real.
12. You use the word “pwned” 200 times a day and you’re 94.