Our long national nightmare is over.
Media accessibility to the players competing in this Sunday's Super Bowl is now over and nobody is likely more happy about it than Seahawks running back Marshawn "Beast Mode" Lynch.

For the third consecutive day, the reticent star sat down at the NFL podium, set a stopwatch on his cell phone and attempted to give the media next to nothing as he did the previous two days.  Tuesday he answered all reporters questions with a variant of, "I'm just here so I don't get fined".  Yesterday it was, "You know why I'm here."

Today he opened with a statement and followed it with a few 'shout outs' to his hometown, teammates and others instead of answering the questions directed at him.

“Hey, look, all week, I done told y’all what’s up and for some reason y’all continue to come back. You do the same that y’all did. I don’t know what story you are trying to get out of me. I don’t know what image y’all are trying to portray of me. But it don’t matter what y’all think, what y’all say about me. Because when I go home at night, the same people I look in the face — my family — that I love, that’s all that really matters to me. So y’all can go and make up whatever y’all want to make up because I don’t say enough to put anything out on me. But I’ll come to y’all’s event and you can shove cameras and microphones down my throat. And when I’m at home in my environment, I don’t see y’all. But y’all are mad at me. And if y’all ain’t mad at me, then what y’all here for? I ain’t got nothing for y’all though. I told you all that. So y’all should know that. But y’all will sit here like right now and continue to do the same thing. I’m here preparing for a game and y’all want to ask me all these questions, which is understandable. I can be down with that.  But I told y’all, I’m not about to say nothing. So for the remainder of my three minutes because I’m here and available for y’all. I’m here. I’m available for y’all. I done talked. All of my requirements are fulfilled. So now for this next three minutes, I’ll just be looking at y’all the way y’all are looking at me. Thank you.”

Seattle Times reporter Ryan Divish transcribed the monologue and caught the entire painful five minutes on video