Some movie titles just cry out “You will watch me. You have no choice. You must watch me.”

Cocaine Bear is such a title.

Spoiler alert: It is about a bear on cocaine. And apparently it is based on a true story! Just look at the film’s poster, which promises it is “Inspired By True Events.”

Universal
Universal
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(If this exact image does not appear in the film, I’m going to be very upset.)

And whomst is this Cocaine Bear, you ask? Well apparently he is a real-life black bear that, in 1985, stumbled upon a large bag filled with pounds upon pounds of cocaine, and then consumed it all. The story has now been turned into a film by director Elizabeth Banks, which stars (besides the bear) Keri Russell, Alden Ehrenreich, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and the late Ray Liotta, in one of his final screen roles before his death last spring.

Here is the film’s official synopsis:

Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner's plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild thriller finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500- pound apex predator has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a coke-fueled rampage for more blow … and blood.

Cocaine Bear is scheduled to open in theaters on February 24, 2023. There’s no trailer yet, but we are eagerly looking forward to it. I just hope the Cocaine Bear survives so he can then go on to appear in the crossover sequel Cocaine Bear vs. Snakes on a Plane.

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