If you have ever been caught taking matters into your own hands, first rule is... don't freak out, second rule is, don't ask for assistance. Just pull your pants up and act like nothing is wrong. If only 21 year old Angel Suarez Medero of Pennsylvania would have known this.

A neighbor spotted Medero on her second-floor balcony pleasuring himself and called 911. After Angel was alarmed, did he do the smart thing and apologize and offered to help on clean up? No! He decided to run inside, grabbed one of the neighbors dogs, jumped off the balcony. The hound was dropped and ran away and as of this story is still missing. But Medero has been found. He entered another apartment and attacked two people, when he was shot by one of them. Police arrived at the scene and took him, in critical condition, to a nearby hospital.

Now you maybe asking, why the race horse picture... Angel Suarez Medero is an up and coming horse jockey... one with a public pleasing fetish.