The recent panic about the spread of the coronavirus has me side-eyeing everyone, even people here in Yakima.

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Are the rumors true that the virus has arrived in our neck of the woods?

I'm even side-eyeing one of my closest friends who recently traveled abroad on a family trip to Indonesia, even though the closest she ever got to Wuhan was Singapore.

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Don't y'all be bringing that stuff to Yakima! Thank goodness the Health District says there are false reports it has reached Yakima County.

It's nothing personal, you see, I am just literally scared I will catch "The Corona", as I've resorted to calling it.

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Yes, it is true, I am a medium-sized hypochondriac, and I am always worrying that I will contract some contagious or non-contagious diseases and die, whether it's from shingles, amnesia, Athlete's Foot, piranha bites, bee stings, and even cataracts.

It isn't helping calm my fears that a man in Snohomish County was recently diagnosed with the respiratory virus. Poor dude, he says he didn't even fly in directly from China! He did, however, bring it to the West Coast via his flight into Sea-Tac, and knowing this activates my panic buttons. I have to travel in a few weeks and I don't want to be stepping one foot into the airport until we know for sure the virus is not there.

*breathes into paper bag*

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It also isn't helping to bestill my terror-ridden heart to hear this morning that over 6,000 people on a cruise ship in Italy have been quarantined until further notice. What worries me the most is wondering if the ship has enough food to feed those 6,000 people, and what happens if someone loses their cool and needs to step their feet on dry land. THEY CAN'T! What if they are stuck there forever? They are never getting off that boat! Ahhhh!

*takes turns breathing into two paper bags*

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So far, the Coronavirus has been found in several places within the United States, Canada, China, and now India. Let's hope pathologists and other scientists are able to find a cure for it soon before it morphs into an epidemic like SARS and MERS.

COME THRU FOR US, CDC!

Until then, I'm about to go get my family a couple of hospital masks...Wait, what's that you say? Hospital face masks WON'T prevent you from catching the coronavirus?

*faints at computer screen*

Namaste.

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One more thing, why am I not surprised that there are people out there who actually believe coronavirus is caused by drinking too much Corona beer? Give me a break! Hahaha!