Wearing a Cowboy Hat in WA State? You Gotta Know the 5 Important Rules!
Out here in Washington state, we’re pretty laid back about most things, but hat shoppers beware, wearing a cowboy hat ain’t nuthin’ to play around with in these parts. This isn’t Tennessee or Texas or North Dakota; it’s actually kind of rare to see someone wearing a cowboy hat unless you live in the deep rural parts of Washington (no, I’m not talking to you, city of Ellensburg, carry on).
If you or someone you love is thinking about buying a cowboy hat, make sure they know the rules ‘round here! Otherwise, you might get thrown out of town (by me).
1 . Business in the Front, Party in the Back
Make sure your haircut “under there” is presentable, sharp, trimmed, and slicked down (or slicked back), or carefully curled, etc. Bonus points if you have a trimmed beard AND have on a cowboy hat, because you’re going to be looking like a SNACK*!
2 . Product Placement
Please place the cowboy hat down gently whenever removing it from your cranium. It goes over the heart if you’re singing a patriotic song or paying a family “respects” during a somber occasion.
3 . Throw Caution to the Wind
Some folks may not care if you keep your cowboy hat on during a wedding. I don’t see any problems with that; it’s appropriate to keep on. When the bride and groom have their first kiss as husband and wife, however, you must throw your cowboy hat up into the air as far as you can to show your delight and celebration. Just make sure you get your cowboy hat back!
4 . Not Sharing is Caring
If someone wants to wear your cowboy hat, politely say no. Tell them to go get their own!
5 . To Be or Not To Be
Here is my list of suggested places where you should probably NOT wear a cowboy hat, lest you risk people snickering at you behind your (sexy) back.
Major Sports Games (high school football games are OK).
Sniper Hunting
The Symphony
The Opera
Yoga Class (especially hot yoga class)
Ski Lodges
On a golf cart/Playing golf on the course (virtual golf is OK)
Metal Detecting (unless you’re on a beach)
Driving fast with the windows rolled down (especially when driving on the Washington interstates)
During your day spa appointment
And finally, If your name is Larry David
*Mullets are not allowed, I don’t care what your Paw-Paw says/would have said!
And that’s that on that (cowboy hat)!
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