Holy bizarre food items, Batman.

What you are looking at in the image above is called a calzony, the creation of the mad food scientists at Little Caesars as part of a cross-promotional tie-in with the latest DC Comics movie, The BatmanWhile the film doesn’t debut for well over a month, you can buy your very own calzony in your Little Caesars starting today.

And just what, pray tell, is a calzony? Here is the description of this item from the official Little Caesar’s press release:

The Batman Calzony is created by combining a pizza lover's own dynamic duo: calzone and pizza. This bat-shaped product features a tantalizing flavor profile of  buttery-tasting, calzone crust filled with garlic white sauce, cheese, and julienned pepperoni, combined with a pepperoni pizza and served with a side of Crazy Sauce®.

What do you say, do we want to know what’s in Crazy Sauce®? I’m going to go with no, the ingredients to Crazy Sauce® are probably so Crazy® it would be very upsetting to learn them.

So it’s half a pizza and half a calzone, smooshed together until it vaguely resembles a bat made of enough cholesterol to stop an elephant’s heart. What does this have to do with The Batman? Who knows; we haven’t seen the film yet so it’s tough to say. Maybe Robert Pattinson’s Bruce Wayne is a huge Little Caesar’s fan, and in between battles between the Riddler and the Penguin, he zooms back to the Batcave for a delicious Hot-N-Ready pizza.

Of course, this is far from the first fast food tie-in in the history of the Batman movie franchise. Who could ever forget this McDonald’s commercial, which actually incorporated a line of dialogue from Batman Forever?

https://youtu.be/H6HYnNq5ElY?t=66

The Batman is scheduled to open in theaters on March 4, 2022. See it the way it was meant to be seen: On a huge screen while eating a The Batman Little Caesars Crazy Calzony that you smuggled into the multiplex in your jacket. One Calzony will cost you $7.99.

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