I am one of those unfortunate morons who got married on Valentine's Day. That was supposedly a smart thing, I told people at the time: "I'll never forget my anniversary!"

Well, I was right about that.

Not that I spent all day feeling sorry for myself. Not at all, actually.

I had Starbucks. Twice. Then I ate at my favorite place for lunch. It was especially good.

Then I got home and went car shopping with the person I share this former anniversary with. She's going full native and buying a Subaru. This horrible, no good and unending winter has forced us to go searching for an all-wheel drive with third-row seats.

Needless to say, looking for a car to preoccupy my time made the day like any other busy weekday.

Then I got home and saw how Ivanka Trump undressed the Canadian heartthrob/politician Justin Trudeau in front of the world.

Now all I want in life is a woman to look at me the way Ivanka looks at the Canadian JFK, Jr.

Happy Single People Awareness Day. In case you're wondering, my favorite lunch place is Tea Garden on Fourth downtown. The General's chicken is on point.


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