Kathy Landin

The Elf on the Shelf—whether you find him cute, annoying or somewhere in between, he's everywhere these days, making the holiday season even more complicated for parents. We did a little investigating on this elusive creature that has become a phenomenon, and discovered a few things we didn't expect.

It stands to reason that a man named Jackmeoff Mudd would be up to no good. You saddle a guy with that kind of name and you almost guarantee that at some point, he’s going to get himself into some trouble. That’s exactly what happened in Ft. Lauderdale, FL recently.

A tattoo can be the perfect artistic expression of something you feel very strongly about. Tattoos are no longer just for sailors, soldiers and inmates. A lot of people have them and a lot of people like to show them off. They have settled in the main stream. But are they for buttholes?

To grab some more of that should-you-really-be-drinking-this market share, the makers of Mountain Dew have come up with a new green apple flavor. To promote this new flavor, they’ve been having an online contest to name it. But, it seems that someone has hijacked DubtheDew, most likely leading to extended marketing meetings at The Dew and some corporate input on name entries.

Sometimes, when the hot rod is leaving the garage, you have to grease up the gears a bit to make her purr. Especially if your chosen hot rod is a 60-year-old woman. But, before you get out the lube, make sure you’re both on the same page about what you’re going to use and who’s going to participate, otherwise someone could end up in jail.

Kids these days are so mischievous — always pulling stunts like putting whoopee cushions on the teacher’s chair, hiding their little sister’s favorite doll and getting the face of their favorite NBA star shaved into the back of their head.

With the popularity of eBay and craigslist, it has become very easy to get great deals on “gently used” items without leaving the comfort of your home, but as the weather warms up, we can’t deny that there is just something much more exciting about finding those great deals while on the hunt at garage sales all over town.

Newspaper publishers and their writers have had to adapt to the changing world of media and figure out how to compete on the internet. Apparently Vito Stellino decided “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” and went right for it by tweeting a link to a porn site instead of a sports story. In this case, “beating ‘em” may be a figure of speech with more than one meaning.

Moms do a lot for us. Even after we are no longer their responsibility, they are still doing things for us that we take for granted. We should be celebrating these great ladies every single day of the year, not just on Mother’s Day.

Not many of us escaped lottery fever last week as the Mega Millions jackpot skyrocketed to about $640 million. Everyone wanted to get in on the action and we know one firefighter who is very happy his fellow firefighters decided to try their luck.

A lot of celebrities do it, but most of the time they don’t want to be found out. We all have urges and needs and sometimes we have to go to a sex club to get those worked out. Wheelchair-bound physicist and all around genius Stephen Hawking is no different.

This is it. The terrible day we all love to hate is upon us. You have probably struggled to figure out what to get your special Valentine, but do you think she has been struggling to figure out what to get for you? Are you tired of getting gifts that are more for her than they are for you?