After some extensive research, I've come to the realization we may be wiping our asses wrong.

I'm not talking front to back, or back to front, sitting or standing. I'm talking dry versus moist.

Western world countries tend to use straight-up toilet paper solo. A lot of other countries' toiletry-related behavior is less dry. In Japan and other countries, water spurts up (in?) your uh ... crack area.

Ask your wife, girlfriend, or some lady on the street. When you clean your make-up off your face, what happens if you use toilet paper? It doesn't clean much, it just spreads that make-up around.

What's the difference with your backside?

I recently ordered some Dude Wipes. They're made in America, biodegradable and flushable. Plus, they donate proceeds to charities, and supply troops with Dude Wipes. Walmart recently started carrying Dude Wipes in an effort to have more stocked products that are made in the United States.

Plus, they got Mark Cuban to invest for a stake in the company. Which means he can make sick commercials like this.