Todd’s Take: My New Year’s Resolutions… Or Not
As I mentioned yesterday, I turned 50 on December 28th. Because of that, I recently visited mu doctor for a full physical, blood work, etc. Turns out, I am now diagnosed with Impaired Fasting Glucose -- basically, pre-diabetic.
Doc told me to start exercising and lose some weight. Welcome to 'Club 50', Todd!
As we get ready to put the dumpster fire that has been the year 2020 behind us, we now look forward to a new year and, with that, the changes we want -- and should -- make.
For me, I resolve to start getting some physical activity in. I HAVE to. The other thing I want to accomplish sooner than later is completing my "Man Cave". I have a metric ass-ton of sports memorabilia and right now it is strewn about the floor and disorganized in closets. I really want to put it on display.
I've never been one to make resolutions because I'm pretty sure I won't keep them so I'd just be setting myself up for disappointment. How can I (we) go about keeping them? the answer may be in the stars...
HOW TO STICK TO YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
The awesome power of the stars will help you maintain those resolutions all year long and make keeping resolutions a breeze... without all the frustration, exasperation and disappointment you've felt in the years past. Just follow the "don't" and "do" list based on your astrological sign:
Aries -- Don't resolve to lose weight. It'll quickly turn you into a sickly looking anorexic. Do resolve to substitute carrots for French fries and celery for cake once a week.
Taurus -- Don't resolve to drop a bad habit like drinking too much or biting your nails you'll just turn testy. Do add a good habit like calling your mother-in-law weekly. This will balance your karma.
Gemini -- Don't resolve to exercise. The stress will send you straight to your couch for a nap. Do go dancing with your best buds and you'll get fit while exercising your sociable nature.
Cancer -- Don't resolve to make peace with your relatives an impossible proposition. Do resolve to let their complaints, cranky moods and craziness slide off your back like water off a duck.
Leo -- Don't resolve to finally get out of debt luxury lover that you are, this is almost impossible. Do make peace with your credit card bills and set up automatic bill payment through your bank.
Virgo -- Don't resolve to save more and spend less you're the banker of the universe and will turn into a stingy Scrooge. Do give generously to charity, church groups and the homeless. Karma will grow your prosperity for you.
Libra -- Don't resolve to leave you low paid or dead-end job and find work elsewhere. Do gun for your boss's job even if it takes subterfuge or sneaky behavior.
Scorpio -- Don't resolve to "do things today." Here's a hint; You won't, so don't. Do resolve to make a list and check off only one item per day.
Sagittarius -- Don't resolve to buy a new car you'll wind up with a lemon. Do resolve to keep up with preventative maintenance on your current car.
Capricorn -- Don't resolve to get organized. It'll turn you into a cranky clean freak sorting and storing while your family's off having fun. Do give all your junk to charity and join in the fun the organizing will take care of itself.
Aquarius -- Don't resolve to work longer hours you'll soon grow to despise your job. Do take up a creative hobby you'll earn extra cash by wheeling and dealing your hand-crafted items.
Pisces -- Don't resolve to stop arguing with your significant other. Face it, Fish, you're temperamental when it comes to relationships. Do resolve to have more sex. It's tough to be grumpy when you're making whoopee.
Well, crap... I'm a Capricorn and already suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to a slight degree and now the stars are aligned against me?!?!
To heck with it... Here, now, instead...
TOP FIVE EASIEST NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS TO KEEP
1. To not make more than one resolution (and you're done!)
2. Start smoking
3. Put on 15 pounds
4. Get into more arguments
5. To break all my resolutions
How about you? Is there anything that you are resolving to do in the upcoming year? Let me know and send a message via our free mobile app!
Rock on! \m/ \m/
Todd E. Lyons, Esquire
READ MORE: 10 free apps to help you get fit in our new normal