There is a website named Cicadia Mania. It tells you all of the states where cicadas are slated to wreck some havoc on America. We are expecting the broody BROODX Bunch to lurch their way above ground in May 2021.

I couldn't tell you what a cicada looks like, even though there were plenty of them roaming free in Nashville, Tennessee, where I was born in raised. Every few some odd years we'd get cicadas showing up and raising a ruckus and annoying the you-know-what (I can say "CRAP") out of everybody. Cicadas are loud, gross, scary-looking! What was it like, every 13 years? Those critters would crawl up through the ground and have a big old party at our expense. They put the creep in creepy-looking.

They are about as long as your pinky finger, they're camouflage green with beady orange eyeballs. They show up, party in the streets like they're in a video from the band LMFAO, eat up all the crops, leave a trashy mess (of leaf pieces), and then they bounce (meaning they leave the scene), but I bet you they probably know how to actually bounce, too! Cicadas are a hot mess. If you have a favorite plant, you better lock it up inside your house because I'm telling you, these cicadas did not come here to play any games with us humans. Consider all your leaves GONE once the cicadas arrive. I'm just saying.

Every time I think of a cicada, I think of those big, ugly ones from A Bug's Life. (Narrator: those were Grasshoppers in A Bug's Life, not cicadas.) I'm telling you, those mean old cicadas in A Bug's Life were bullies, man! Making those poor little ants run around ragged and gathering all the food just so they could fly in and take it. Those jerks.

There is a website named Cicadia Mania. It tells you all of the states where cicadas are slated to wreck some havoc on America. It looks like the West Coast really is the BEST coast because we are not expected to get any of these BroodX bugaboos. These big, stinky, loud bugs will mainly be pests to states in the MidWest, South, and parts of the East Coast. expecting the broody BROODX Bunch in May 2021.

Our friends and family to the east of us have exactly 3 whole months to move everything into their underground bunkers!

At least they don't bite!

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