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Timmy’s Top 5: Christmas Flicks

TSM/Timmy!

For the record, I do like the traditional ones. Not love… just like. Mainly because the stop animation of “Rudolph” and classic cartoon animation of “Frosty” was before my time. I’ve read so much Charlie Brown that I pretty much got burned out by the time the candle extinguished in the Great Pumpkin. And yes… “The Christmas Story,” I have a love/hate relationship with that movie. I got burned out … thank you TBS and your 24 hours of nonstop Ralphie Fudge. And that movie got me in trouble. No, not because I broke my dad’s leg lamp, but because my parents did get me a BB gun for Christmas. They did wrap it up in a long box, and yes, leaned it in the corner by a desk… JUST LIKE IN THE DAMN MOVIE! I got in trouble for “snooping.” I didn’t snoop, I was being observant. Sherlock Holmes would have been proud… my parents were not. So that is why I don’t cherish the traditional classics! Yes, I love the new ones — Will Ferrell’s “ELF,” Jim Carrey’s “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” Tim Allen’s “The Santa Clause” trilogy — but to be my top favorites, those just don’t stuff my stocking. “Gremlins” and “Batman Returns” come close, but no mistletoe! So I proudly bring to you, Timmy’s Top 5 Christmas Flicks!

HONORABLE MENTION:He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special“: While many grew up with Frosty & Rudolph, I Had the Power… and the He-Man Christmas Episode. Check out the full episode below.

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5.Star Wars Holiday Special“: George Lucas wishes he could track down and destroy every copy of this film that was ever made. Before “The Phantom Menace“or “The Last Jedi” made fans upset, this gem was broadcasted! Only once in November of 1978 on CBS… it was horrible. Not even the first appearance of Boba Fett could make this good. Luckily copies float around on eBay… that’s where I got mine! The Plot… Han is trying to get Chewie back home for Life Day… and the late great Bea Arthur makes an appearance!

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4.MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians” The movie Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is one of the worst films ever made. Check IMDB… I’m not making that up. BUT… when you get Mystery Science Theater 3000 to give their commentary, it’s not too bad. If you want to watch the original, check out the “COMET” TV channel, they’re playing it a bunch this time of year, or check out the full movie via YouTube.

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3.Santa’s Slay“: Bill Goldberg as a murderous Santa… kills a lot of B-List Celebrities with in the first 5 mins of the film & it teaches the true meaning of the Olympic Sport of Curling. Don’t believe me… check out the full movie (NSFW) via YouTube.

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2.Merry Christmas Mr. Bean“: Yes, this isn’t a movie… it was a TV show… but it stands the test of time in my heart. Watch the Full Episode below!

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1.Die Hard“: CRITICS (Todd) BE DAMNED! IT IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE! The Updated Christmas Trailer for the film proves it! It’s the film that made Bruce Willis an action star! And also started the craze for giant teddy bears as Christmas Presents.

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Whatever you decide to watch this Christmas… just make sure to watch it with someone you care about! Happy Christmas & Joyous Holidays!

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