HUMOR: Top 10 Things NOT At The Fair

With all the excitement & fair fever that has been going on over the past week and will continue to go on for the remainder of the month and into October, I enjoy the fair! I always do, although there were certain things that as I waited for Fluffy to take the stage, I couldn't help but feel were missing. Here's my top 10 Things I felt were Missing from the Central Washington State Fair (in no particular order, except the order I chose to write them in).

Timmy's Top 10 Things NOT At The Fair!!!

#10 - Deep Fried Skittles

They've deep fried everything else, when will I get to taste the rainbow burned to a delicious crisp?

#9 - Small Handed Carnies

A vast majority of them I saw had average sized hands, if not bigger than normal... sadly Austin Powers & myself were both bummed.

#8 - The Questionable Anime Booth

There's being a fan... then there is just being creepy! Where am I going to get my weird tentacle monster fix now?

#7 - Having My (CENSORED) Crushed in the Giant Swing Ride

I didn't miss that, it was just something that I didn't experience at the fair this year. So if it was there, I didn't experience it, and I'm okay with that.

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#6 - Porcupines in the Petting Zoo

Once again, I didn't see them. If they are there, they are keeping them hidden from me. Rightfully so! They taught valuable lessons!

#5 - Meatloaf on a Stick

Sticks are Awesome! Meatloaf Is Awesome! Why not combine the Awesomeness! Heck, deep fry that S.O.B. and let the awesomeness explode!

#4 - The Guy in the SunDome Selling New Pennies for a Dollar

I saw him 13 years ago, and I've never seen him since... I may be blind or that may be a poor business idea in today's economy.

#3 - Man Vs Nature!

Okay, three years ago they had the reptile exhibit. Two years ago it was the "Bugology" fair... why not just combine the two, No cages/tanks and just let nature take its coarse. You could even sell entrance tickets to test someones will and strength to see if "MAN" really is the top species. Plus they can get a prize!

#2 - Squeezing my big butt through a turnstile as I walk into the fair

They now scan the ticket as you walk in & I am thankful! If they had turnstiles... I didn't notice them, or miss them!

#1 - Having the World's Biggest Pig VS the World's Smallest Horse

I've always wandered if they'd put those two majestic beasts in an Epic Battle Royal with the loser being donated to the Deep Fry Anything On A Stick Booth. So far it hasn't happened... YET!

#BONUS - Testing the quilts... because after a long day of walking, enjoying rides, petting animals I shouldn't have petted, stepping over children that aren't properly watched, and eating anything things that should never be deep fried, you really need a nap. I suggest a bed in the expo building where they have all the quilts and you get to try out the quilts for nap time. Then we can decide if they really earned that ribbon. The fair could even make it a type of ride, something I wouldn't mind standing in line for!