And now, another edition of: 'Tater Thoughts': Musings of a Golden Retriever. This is Episode Five: 'Are You Sure That Wasn't Pupperoni?'

From the fertile mind of Tater Tot Stephenson, the golden retriever member of the Stephenson family. (editor's note: keep in mind, some weeds are fertile. So........)

Hello faithful readers - please, be seated. Or, as my family says to me, 'Sit. Sit. Sit.' There's usually a snack in it for me when I do but, alas, I have nothing but a tale to tell you today.

Brian Stephenson

The title of today's episode 'Are You Sure That Wasn't Pupperoni?' was chosen by me since this was the basis for my criminal defense at trial. Someone, who shall remain anonymous, but a hint might be that they're a teenager, left some perfectly good pizza on the counter. Now, as I have a keen sense of smell and I'm constantly hungry, I was spying that pizza from a distance for quite some time.

Brian Stephenson

At some point, I determined that nobody was going to finish that 'Pupperoni' pizza. Mom and Dad had eaten some kind of gross-looking 'healthy' salad and I was 100% sure based upon history, that the teenager in question wasn't going to clean up. So, I thought I'd just be doing everyone a favor by eliminating the problem.

That's when the security cameras captured me - and forever branded me a thief!

Oh, that's good!

Brian Stephenson

Yep. That is goooood!

Brian Stephenson

Oops. I dropped a bit over here. My family will be so happy that I'm helping!

Brian Stephenson

Just as I was finishing, I hear Dad narc on me and tell Mom what I've been up to. So I put on the shades and attempted to get away clean. But Mom busted me at the border. (the border between the kitchen and the living room that is)

Brian Stephenson

It's tough being a Golden Gourmand. And to tell you the truth, my stomach is rumbling a little more than normal. I'd better go lie down outside just in case.

I have another pool party coming up around the end of the month. I'll take copious pix and embarrass that schnauzer once and for all. See you then.

Tater Out!