Timmy’s Five Favorite Festive Flicks!
For the record, I do like the traditional ones. Not love... just like. Mainly because the stop animation of "Rudolph" and classic cartoon animation of "Frosty" was before my time. I've read so much Charlie Brown that I pretty much got burned out by the time the candle extinguished in the Great Pumpkin. And yes... "A Christmas Story", I have a love/hate relationship with that movie. I got burned out ... thank you TBS and your 24 hours of nonstop Ralphie Fudge. And that movie got me in trouble. No, not because I broke my dad's leg lamp, but because my parents did get me a BB gun for Christmas. They did wrap it up in a long box, and yes, leaned it in the corner by a desk... JUST LIKE IN THE DAMN MOVIE! I got in trouble for "snooping." I didn't snoop, I was being observant. Sherlock Holmes would have been proud... my parents were not. So that is why I don't cherish the traditional classics! Yes, I love the new ones -- Will Ferrell's "ELF," Jim Carrey's "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" & even Tim Allen's "The Santa Clause" trilogy -- but to be my top favorites, those just don't stuff my stocking. "Gremlins" and "Batman Returns" come close, but no mistletoe! So I proudly bring to you, Timmy's Five Favorite Festive Flicks!
HONORABLE MENTIONS: "He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special": While many grew up with Frosty & Rudolph, I Had the Power... and the He-Man Christmas Episode. Check out the full episode below.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: "SCROOGED": Many people forget about this 1988 dark comedy from Bill Murray, me included! I recently watched a "WTF Happened To This Movie" on Scrooged, and I forgot how much I loved it. If you've never seen it, it's an update (for 1988) of the classic Charles Dickens story, A Christmas Carol. This is an honorable mention though because after I re-watched it with my wife, I forgot all about the end cremation scene, and my wife who has some issues with that type of thing didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. (Maybe it SHOULD be on the list).
5. "Star Wars Holiday Special": George Lucas wishes he could track down and destroy every copy of this film that was ever made. Before "The Phantom Menace"or "The Last Jedi" made fans upset, this gem was broadcasted! Only once in November of 1978 on CBS... it was horrible. Not even the first appearance of Boba Fett could make this good. Luckily copies float around on eBay... that's where I got mine! The Plot... Han is trying to get Chewie back home for Life Day... and the late great Bea Arthur makes an appearance!
4. "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" The movie Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is one of the worst films ever made. Check IMDB... I'm not making that up. BUT... when you get Mystery Science Theater 3000 to give their commentary, it's not too bad. If you want to watch the original, check out the "COMET" TV channel, they're playing it a bunch this time of year, or check out the full movie via YouTube.
3. "Santa's Slay": Bill Goldberg as a murderous Santa... kills a lot of B-List Celebrities with in the first 5 mins of the film & it teaches the true meaning of the Olympic Sport of Curling. Don't believe me... check out the full movie (NSFW) via YouTube.
2. "Merry Christmas Mr. Bean": Yes, this isn't a movie... it was a TV show... but it stands the test of time in my heart. Watch the Full Episode below!
1. "Die Hard": CRITICS BE DAMNED! IT IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE! The Updated Christmas Trailer for the film proves it! It's the film that made Bruce Willis an action star! And also started the craze for giant teddy bears as Christmas Presents. Even though in the "Roast of Bruce Willis", the action star said it wasn't a Christmas Movie, that it was a "Bruce F***ing Willis Movie", I, and many, MANY others don't consider it Christmas time until we see Hans Gruber fall from the Nakatomi Plaza!
Whatever you decide to watch this Christmas... just make sure to watch it with someone you care about! Happy Christmas & Joyous Holidays!