Washington Has The 12th Highest Divorce Rate In The U.S. — Happy VD Day Everybody!

The divorce rate in the state of Washington is 4.6 of every 1,000 marriages -- which puts us 12th in the United States, tied with Maine and Alaska. Nevada is at the top with 7.1 per 1,000 annually, but in a state where "sin" in encouraged that makes sense. Why Washington is so high on the list, however, is puzzling.

But I have a few ideas:

1. The amount of coffee we drink. Talk about your highs and lows. The shorter winter days are a contributing factor to depression and then we drink copious amounts of java to pick up our spirits. Then, when we haven't had our caffeine fix we get irritable. Depressed and irritable, bad combo for a long term relationship.

2. The Seahawks' success. When the Seahawks blew chunks, men had more time to chase poon. "We're down 20 at halftime, how about a quickie?" Now we actually watch the whole game.

3. Plentiful seafood (write your own jokes here).

4. Washington is second in wine production behind California. It's hard to get it up when you're constantly passed out on the sofa after a Merlot bender.

5. Too many white people (77 percent), which equals bad dancing ... not very sexy. Ironically in Yakima the divorce rate is two-thirds of what it is in the rest of the state. According to Wikipedia, Yakima is 41.3 percent Hispanic and if you've ever watched Univision and their Saturday morning dance parties from Miami, they're full of hot chicas in thongs. Hot chicas in thongs who can shake their booties equals happy men. Happy men equals a lower divorce rate. You're welcome.