Yakima Town Hall Speaker Series: Here’s Who They Should Have Got

For more than 40 years, Yakima Town Hall Lecture Series has brought world-reknown speakers to its annual series. This year is no different. Wednesday's features, figure skating Olympic Gold Medalist Scott Hamilton, on Nov. 4 it'll be Dr. David Agus (one of the world's leading cancer specialists), on March 16 author Denise Kiernan and on April 20 mountaineer and polar-explorer Alison Levine.

Fine speakers all, covering an interesting variety of subjects. However as a middle-aged man and morning co-host on Yakima Valley's heritage rock station I'd prefer a different roster. Here are my picks:

1. The guy from Wenatchee who accidentally shot himself in the nuts because he was on a two-day meth trip and conjured up imaginary Mexican banditos who were there to steal his cash and truck. Man I'll bet this guy could tell some stories... probably not coherently but he'd be entertaining.

2. The viral video sensation on YouTube know as "the guy who yells F her right in the p&*$%y" on camera during live news reporting. What inspired him? Does he have any groupies or offers of marriage? How does he plan a video bombing?

3. Zach Galifianakis. Who didn't love "Between Two Ferns"? If you can't appreciate the image of Charlize Theron talking about how "my thighs are so sweaty right now ... I'm dripping all the way down to the back of my knees" and how Zach asked her if she was in "Monsters Inc." then you don't know great cinema and stuff.

You can see the aforementioned speakers on their respective dates at the Capitol Theatre in downtown Yakima.