I'm tired of the cards and calls, this Father's Day, I want smooth balls.

To my kids, I told 'em, what Pops really wants is a relaxed scrotum.

Scrotox. I want my nutsack botoxed. It's even got its own Twitter account.

A botox injection right into your scrotal region. Apparently it makes things down there in the ol' man bag more relaxed so a fella can now hang more naturally, looking fuller and smoother.

Kidding aside, while some use scrotox for cosmetics, the majority of the patients use the treatment medicinally because their scrotum is tightly contracted, squeezing up on the their testicles and it's painful. The relaxation of the scrotum helps the testes to hang a bit lower and offers some relief.

A treatment costs about $1,000 and the effect lasts about nine months.

Ah, but does it work? And even if it does, how many others are really going to see it besides you? One? Two?

Maybe you're a supreme swordsman whose M.O. requires it.

Good for you.

Father's Day is in a week, kids, ask your mother about it.